Saturday, May 12, 2012

facing my fears.

fear #1: hospitals
anyone who knows me, also knows about my paralyzing fear of hospitals. i just can't help it. they give me the creeps. even walking into one makes my knees weak and my head spin. this has caused quite the inconvenience throughout my life, so i would really like to get over this irrational fear. and i think i made some real progress this week. 


it all started on thursday afternoon when my wonderful friend ashley had her baby!!! i was dying to go visit her and jake and meet their new son, but i was also terrified of stepping foot into a hospital. but with a firm hand hold from nicolaus, trying to think of the doctors as the grey's anatomy cast, and really only one attack of anxiety in the hallway, i made it into ashley's room! i kept my gaze clear of iv's or any sort of needles, and i felt surprisingly calm when i saw some familiar faces, and one new, exceptionally cute face. their new baby is the most adorable, sweet, cuddly little boy. all thoughts of spooky hospitals faded away and my heart just about melted when i saw these two together...




i can't think of two cuter boys. i've never held such a brand-new baby before, and let me tell you, i loved every second of it. nick and i have already been back another three times to visit. all i can say is that ashley and jake know how to make a cute baby. ashley has been such a trooper through the whole pregnancy/birthing process and has become a new role model of mine. she and jake are already such good parents.


fear #2:heights
remember how i'm learning to rock climb? well the scariest part of it for me is once i reach the top, look down, and realize how far up i am. this hasn't been too much of an issue until yesterday, when nick, jake, and grayson thought i was ready to climb a two-pitch with them. 


this was easily the hardest and scariest climb yet. once i got to the top of the first route and clipped in, i looked down and was already too high for comfort, then looked up and still had a ways to go. i was literally shaking with fear. when it came my turn to climb the second route, the only thing that really kept me going was my desire to get out of the shade, and back onto the sunny rock. 


with a number of panic attacks, lots of encouraging coaxing from the boys, and exhausting every muscle in my body, i somehow reached the top. i clipped in, and immediately sat down and stared down at the rock, refusing to see how high i'd come. the boys were pretty entertained at my lack of willingness to appreciate the spectacular view, but grayson made me take at least one worthwhile look before he would belay me down. i reminded myself to breathe, then looked out over the edge for just a moment. it was thrilling to have climbed to a spot where i could literally see the whole valley. everything looked so beautiful and lush and green. 


once i finally reached the ground, and could breathe easily again, i don't know if i've ever felt so accomplished. 

3 comments:

  1. Way to go shayla!! That's so impressive that have been conquering your fears.:)

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  2. im scared of heights too! mostly just weird ones, but i still get nervous when I'm at the top of a climb & look down. i have mini panic attacks to myself all the time, don't worry!

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  3. Aww your so nice! I'm glad you came to see us, he already love you guys. Now that we are home, you don't need to panic at all. Love you guys!

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