golden years

Thursday, May 28, 2015

family photos pt. 2

and here's part two of our family photos! and in case anyone is wondering how we got my oldest niece, gwenna, to smile and look at the camera in any of the photos, the answer is bribing. lots and lots of bribing. every time i saw her the rest of the day she was holding a promised piece of chocolate. haha even though, my favorite photos of her from the batch were of her either scowling, fake-smiling, or side-glancing.

photos: tracy hill

Wednesday, May 27, 2015

family photos pt. 1

it's not often that my entire immediate family is together. so when my brother, jean paul, graduated from byu law school last month and everyone was in town for it, my parents wanted family photos to document the occasion. even though, not only am i pregnant, so is my sister!!! she is about two months behind me and i could not be happier about it :) 
and i think we did a pretty good job at disguising our little baby bumps, but it was only after a few meltdowns on my part...haha the first few dresses i tried that matched my mama's navy and white color scheme, did not fit how they used to...luckily, my sweet cousin-in-law steered me towards the j. crew outlet for this navy dress that she wore in her engagement photos and it worked like a charm! and helped me not feel like jaba the hut next to my teeny-tiny-4-inches-shorter-but-7-years-older-sister. not to mention my built-like-a-supermodel-sister-in-law! haha the awkward phase preggo struggle is real, you guys.
but as much of a struggle that this whole adjusting to a growing baby belly has been, i am more and more in awe of women's bodies! we are designed to grow and house little humans. it's incredible. also, i don't know how every blog post lately has turned into a preggo rambling, but i guess it's just what i spend most of my energy thinking/learning about lately...but aaanyways, these people are my family and i love them! and cannot wait for the two new additions this fall!
p.s. the wonderfully talented tracy hill took these for us in my parents' garden.

Wednesday, May 20, 2015


i am officially 23 weeks preggo! i had high hopes of documenting this growing baby bump weekly, but somehow 9 weeks have come and gone since our last bump shoot...aaaand it had been about that long since i actually did my hair and make-up...ha, sooo a 9 week interval will have to do :) plus i feel like i'm only now emerging from the is-she-pregnant-or-did-she-eat-a-burrito phase and into the she's-definitely-pregnant phase.

anyways, i figured i could do one of those fancy "bumpdate" posts. here it goes:

how far along are you? 23 weeks. i can't believe i'm over halfway! the first half seemed to drag on forever (it felt a lot more like 20 years than 20 weeks) and the last 3 weeks have flown by!

sleep: i've been getting as much as possible while i can! i really love my sleep! i'm usually exhausted by about 9 and try to be asleep by 10. anything later than that and i go into full zombie-mode. it's starting to get harder to get comfortable, and i'm not wanting to spend the money/storage space on one of those massive preggo pillows. so i've just been hugging an extra long pillow we already have, and that helps a ton.

movement: SO MUCH MOVEMENT. baby boy is a real wriggler and in the last few weeks nicolaus and i have both been able to feel him kicking and rolling around. and we think it's the coolest thing ever! it makes all feel so much more real. he's most active at night and in the morning, and we spend time everyday just staring at or feeling my belly moving around. i love it. and am also slightly terrified that he's inherited his dad's energy and i'm never going to have a lazy moment again...haha

symptoms: right around week 20, the nausea/morning sickness started to ease up (warning: tmi ahead). i went from puking 1-3 times a day and feeling nauseous almost 100% of the time, to puking only once a week and the level of nausea went way down for about 2 weeks. and i haven't puked at all the last week! and the only time i really feel nauseous is when i stay up too late or get too hungry. i'm really hoping this sticks to the end, because it has been SO NICE to feel good again! so. nice. and thanks again to anyone who offered advice or comforting words!

looking forward to: getting outside and being more active! with the major turnaround in sickness and the weather warming up, i can't wait for lots of hikes and swimming this summer!

Tuesday, May 19, 2015

may | mixtape

hinds | bamboo
the velvet undergound | pale blue eyes
the kinks | nothin' in the world can stop my worryin'
father john misty | chateau lobby #4
jenny lewis | pretty bird
my morning jacket | rollin' back
edward sharpe & the magnetic zeroes | this life
lynyrd skynyrd | simple man
donovan | jersey thursday
bob dylan | shelter from the storm
the rolling stones | 2000 man
kings of leon | knocked up
modest mouse | wicked campaign
perfume genius | my body
radiohead | creep
dan croll | from nowhere
blouse | into black

listen here

Tuesday, May 5, 2015

it's a boy!!

nicolaus and i are not ones to wait patiently until the birth to know the sex of our baby. we are far too curious and far too impatient! as soon as we realized i was pregnant we were both dying to know if it was going to be a boy or girl. we both definitely had inklings it was a boy...for whatever reason i can only imagine us having a boy at this point. and it sounds silly, but having a boy first seems ever-so-slightly less terrifying to me. like a chunky little boy seems more physically/emotionally durable than a sweet, little girl. ha, which i know isn't always the case but i personally just feel less intimidated knowing it will be boy! plus, nicolaus and i only have nieces on both sides so it will be exciting to add a little boy to the mix! pluuuus nicolaus is the last boy who can carry on his family name, so i feel a whole lot less pressure about that.

and honestly, we would have been thrilled either way! and now i'm even a little sad when i see cute girls things that i can't buy yet...and i get nervous thinking 'what if we never have a girl and can't pass on some of the things i loved as a little one'! ha, but that's just me being a little crazy and waaay overthinking things.

aaanyways, here's the long version of how we found out about our baby boy:

when i was 12 weeks preggo, my doctor thought that i was possibly measuring a little big for 12 weeks (and i was one hundred percent certain about my dates, thanks to my apps) and that he had either heard two heartbeats or the baby had shifted and he had heard the same heartbeat in two spots. so just to be sure and rule out the possibility of twins, we scheduled an ultrasound for that evening. needless to say, i went through the entire day in a total daze.

none of my coworkers even knew i was pregnant at this point, so i'm sure if anyone noticed my deer-in-headlights expression, they must've just thought i was a little crazy. but really, i was just a bit stunned and overwhelmed at the possibility of twins. luckily, nicolaus was all sorts of reassuring and positive about all the benefits of having twins which helped ease my nerves ever so slightly. but mostly i just spent the day freaking out, trying to wrap my head around the idea of going from zero babies to two babies. seriously, i am convinced that whoever manages to birth/raise twins has super powers.

after the day managed to creep by, we finally made it to our ultrasound to discover that i'm only growing one, wriggly baby. i think nick had gotten his hopes up for twins and actually felt a bit disappointed that it wasn't twins, but i felt quite relieved. and like i had never felt less scared of having only one baby. ha, and we also learned some unexpected information at this ultrasound...that baby was most likely a boy! our ultrasound technician kept saying things along the line of 'you know, it's too early to say for sure, but if i were a betting woman, i would bet you are having a boy'. even nick and i could clearly see a little something right between baby's at this point we were pretty certain it was a boy! not to mention, it was SO cool to see baby on the screen. it was so, so nice to be reassured that all the sickness/discomfort was worthwhile.

four weeks later, when i was at 16 weeks we got our official gender check ultrasound. and they confirmed our hunch that baby is indeed a boy!! it was so nice to start referring to baby as "he" instead of "it". the whole thought that we're going to meet our own little babe in a few months became a lot more real and a lot more exciting!

and when we went in for our 20 week ultrasound last week, they confirmed again that it's definitely a boy. a boy that seems to have inherited his dad's wriggles and has been rolling around/stretching during every ultrasound so far. at one point we could see him open his mouth and i said, "nick, did he just yawn?? i think he's bored." haha but i don't think he could be any more anxious to make his grand appearance than nicolaus and i are!

disclaimer: i had grand plans of reenacting the above gender reveal confetti balloon, ordering a massive black balloon from etsy before our 16 week ultrasound, thinking after we found out i could go buy some blue/green confetti locally...but i had no luck. so i thought we could postpone our balloon popping party, and wait for the blue confetti i ordered from the adorable shop knot & bow (and i'm convinced it's the only shop in the world where you can buy a pretty assortment of light blue/green paper confetti). 

but once we got the confetti, finals hit for nicolaus, i had a busy stretch in work/doctor appointments, and we had family in town visiting. so by the time we had a free second, nicolaus' car, where i had (stupidly) left the balloon had managed to swallow it. i honestly have no clue where that dumb balloon is. haha sooo, at this point i counted my losses (and figured most of our family/friends already knew we were having a boy) and just regrammed/blogged the above beautiful images from knot & bow.

Tuesday, April 21, 2015

oz family photos

while we were in australia over christmas, i snapped a few photos of my sister's cute family. and i just love these people. aaand they are coming to visit this weekend and i cannot wait!!!

Monday, April 13, 2015

newbury park | preggo ramblings

so the reason that the vast majority of the photos on my blog/in my life are of me and not nicolaus, is because nicolaus hates having his photo taken. as soon as he catches me pointing the lens at him he starts scowling and/or making inappropriate gestures...haha so it takes a lot to capture a candid moment of him. or a lot of bribing to make him pose for the camera without a look of obvious disdain on his face.

unlike my dear husband, every time he says, "go stand over there and let me take a super cute photo of you!" (only ever-so-slightly laced with sarcasm) i almost always oblige. i usually don't feel awkward in front of a camera if he's behind it and i think photos are fun to have and to take and to be in. so i say "okay!" and happily prance over to look like an idiot in front of any onlookers.

if anyone's still reading you're probably wondering why/where this rant came from...well, i'll tell you. i spent an embarrassing amount of time debating whether i should include one and/or both of the first two photos of me in this post. (#firstworldproblems) and i've decided that my facial expressions far too perfectly document exactly how i've felt about getting my photo taken since being pregnant, to not include them. because i've adapted the nicolaus as-soon-as-a-lens-is-in-my-face-scowl. and the second photo was my feeble attempt at overcoming it. haha i think it's mostly due to the incessant nausea and my entire body feeling out of wack that the last thing i want to do is have my photo taken.

aaaanways, i did not mean to go off on that for so long, buuut these photos are from our most recent trip to california. which was in february...which was two months ago...and i'm only getting to this post now...aaand i can't believe it's already been two months! but it was such a fun, fun long weekend trip we took over valentine's day! we hung out with old friends, drank a ridiculous amount of smoothies, and breathed in so much fresh ocean air. which i really, really wish i could somehow bottle up and bring back to utah with me!

p.s. my cute friend, kerry, made a blog post from that same trip here!