i can clearly remember my first few weeks of college. i remember the overwhelming nerves, the unbelievably large classes, feeling like byu campus was like hogwarts and things were constantly moving and rearranging and disappearing and reappearing (i can now admit that really it was just my terrible sense of direction), feeling like i was in way over my head as i didn't have the first clue as to what i should major in, not feeling old enough when classmates had wedding rings and when an outrageously pregnant lady sat next me, how friendly and social everyone was at the dorms, and how ecstatic i got when i saw any familiar face on campus that i could say hi to (and ask for directions), spending hours (not) studying on the infamously social 5th floor of the library. 

i felt like such an adult when it came to living on my own and learning for myself that ice cream does not make a good dinner and i cannot stay awake in an 8am class if i had only retired to bed 4 hours earlier and that a twin bed can (somewhat) comfortably fit 3 girls...everything was new and exciting and terrifying.

then somewhere along the way, i started to get the hang of things. i stopped needing my responsible friends to text me the day i could sign up for classes, i stopped searching the crowds for people i knew between every class, i found my passion for graphic design, i started studying in a cubicle on the 2nd floor of the library, i started putting in my headphones and going straight from one class to the next. it became a comfortable routine.

and now it's all over. i just took my last final exam. and instead of going out and celebrating, i'm blogging?? ha, yep. because i want to remember exactly what this feels like. as soon as i got out of the classroom this afternoon, there was an instant, physical relief that sent chills through my spine. i became all sorts of nostalgic when i looked around campus as i walked to my car and different places flooded my mind with a million memories.

i feel like a big, fun, hard chapter of my life is closing and i am about to step into the unknown again. i'm starting to feel all those same emotions i had before starting college but now it's before starting what they like to call "real life." ;)