Wednesday, March 25, 2015

pinspiration | thank you | 15 weeks



some recent inspiration from pinterest

first of all, i would like to say one big THANK YOU to all the well wishes on my most recent blog, facebook and instagram posts when i posted our pregnancy announcement!! ha that still sounds surreal to say type. i felt like a pregnancy announcement was a bit like planning your wedding...

it's something you think about way before you need to and something you take notes on when you see other ones you like...and you think when it comes to your own, you're going to be super crafty and original...but then all of a sudden it's something you're actually doing and you don't care so much. it doesn't seem like a huge deal and you don't want to spend all that much time worrying about it or doing it. and you just want something simple and easy. haha at least that was my experience! and i'm glad there are still people not like that, so i can enjoy their creativeness :)

aaaanyways, sorry for the long side thought! and seriously thanks to everyone who offered advice and words of encouragement! nicolaus and i were feeling the love and support and are so, so grateful for it. also, i hit 15 weeks today! and i've been wanting to journal some of my thoughts during this pregnancy, so here goes nothing...

i never had much of a real fear of pregnancy. i always thought that the actual birth part was where the real terror lay. in fact, i secretly hoped that i would be one of those "crazy people who actually like being pregnant." i knew it would be weird/hard to watch my body change so drastically, but other than that i thought it would be just feeling a little lousy and extra tired for a few weeks. nothing too crazy, and something easy to just push through. and then after the morning sickness part wore off, i would feel whole and amazing with a little life growing inside of me. i imagined myself as one of those fit, yoga-doing, organic-whole-food-eating pregnant ladies.

and then i got pregnant.

i found out really early, and for about the first two weeks i was totally fine. maybe a little sleepier than usual, and if i went for too long without eating i would get slightly queasy. but totally functioning and totally fine. i was on the treadmill like three times a week and determined to stay active and moving. and then morning sickness hit. morning sickness hit like a massive tidal wave. i stopped basically all physical activity and started implementing way too much white pasta into my diet. aaaand this is where you should stop reading if your annoyed/grossed out by oversharing...

so, i am by no means prone to vomiting. pre-pregnancy it had been just over ten years since the last time i had puked. so the first time it happened a few weeks into pregnancy, i was a wreck. luckily i was at home (there have been a few public bathroom incidents and those are just awful) and nicolaus was there. and he held back my hair and rubbed my back while i not only puked, but bawled. i don't remember the last time i cried that hard. it was so ridiculous and dramatic that nicolaus was even giggling a little bit. and then i thought about how absurd it would be to walk in on a crying, puking wife and a giggling husband, that it made me giggle a little bit. which really just added to the grossness and ridiculousness of it all. haha and then nicolaus had to hold me for a solid 30 minutes while i was crying and shaking and giggling and recovering. it was all quite traumatic, but i survived.

and i've also luckily managed to function at my 9-5 design job (for the most part), since i'm usually the sickest in the morning or at night. and i've figured out what to eat/when to eat that usually will help ward off the nausea for at least short periods of time. i'm normally a very adventurous, non-picky eater but that all changed in a hurry. and my new very high maintenance ways of eating have been quite the adjustment to get used to.

and while i'm also normally someone who takes a lot of satisfaction out of staying busy and on top of my to-do list, that also all changed in a hurry. i've had to slow down a lot. especially when i managed to get a cold, recover from my cold, get a cold sore, have the cold sore heal, then get an even worse cold. those were a rough two weeks.

my job has been one of the very few productive things i've been doing these days. in a way it's been nice, to cut out a lot of stuff and i've learned a lot more about what's necessary and what's busy work that i'm just creating for myself. but on the other hand, our never-ending pile of laundry has not been so nice.

so yes, like i said in my last post, it's been hard. it's been a crazy, whirlwind trying to navigate through these last few months. but then there are the saving graces along the way that make it all worth it, and help you to keep chugging along. like when we heard our baby's heartbeat for the first time! or sweet friends going out of their way to offer fantastic pregnancy/child birth advice! or my husband fetching me a lime popsicle whenever i ask him to! or in-laws who are always checking in on me and offering help wherever they can! or my parents who are willing to take care of me when i'm sick and bedridden and nick is out of town! so i'm trying my best to focus on those moments. and just take it a day at a time. i find myself constantly repeating in my head: one day at a time.

4 comments:

  1. lady, you are awesome! I love how honest you are being about all of this. I am sure so many wonderful ladies are going to be able to relate to you, and it is just awesome!

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    1. ahh thank you shelby!! you are so full of the nicest compliments that always manage to make my day :) YOU are awesome.

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  2. This is the first time i've read your blog and I love it! You're the cutest there ever was Shayla!

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    1. thanks renae!! :) do you have a blog too??

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