yep, that is a tiny baby growing in my belly!!! and i am so, so happy that is has fiiiinally been long enough to feel comfortable to share it with the world!! it feels like i have been pregnant for about six years, but really it's only been 14 weeks and about 9 weeks of morning sickness. but i am having a hard time remembering life before nausea....morning sickness is real. and has an extremely misleading name. because it's not just in the morning. they should call it all-day-and-gets-worse-at-night sickness. 

basically, what i'm getting at is that it is way harder to be pregnant than i ever imagined. and i have a whole newfound/increased respect and awe for mothers. i just keep thinking, 'this is what women go through to have kids...and they do it more than once?!' and don't even get me started on single mothers. those ladies are the real life superheroes. 

i like to think that i'm a pretty independent person and i love having nicolaus around to share my life with, but i just like to think that i would be okay on my own if that were my situation. but i've never depended on his care and support so much, and i don't know how i could have gotten through the last few months without him. he's been by my side through the unglamorous, vomiting, blubbery meltdowns to hold my hair, or run to the store to buy me sprite and honeydew or just listen while i cry about all the weird changes my body is going through and all of the things i'm terrified for. and even though i know he's sometimes just as exhausted or stressed as i am, he manages to push past his own cranky/grumpy inclinations and is just so sweet to me. and for some reason he still loves me. that boy is a saint. 

so yes, kudos to any women who don't have that same type of support. you must be exceptionally strong, special souls. i am so amazed of their strength and it also makes me a little ashamed to have complained about my situation so much...especially because i do know that it is life's biggest miracle, and such a blessing to even be able to fall pregnant and have a body that is able to grow a little human in it. it is hard. but it's also mind-blowing and incredible.

i cannot believe that just over four years ago, nicolaus was just this boy that i randomly met and now we have this little baby growing that is half him/half me that we get to meet in a few short months! it's something i've thought/dreamed about a lot and i cannot believe it's going to be a reality soon. i cannot wait to smother that baby with sooo many cuddles and kisses.

p.s. my due date is september 17!!

p.p.s. also, i know everyone's pregnancy is different and unique to them and has their own set of ups and downs, but if anyone else out there has a down of bad morning sickness, and has found something that helps, please text/comment/message/email me and tell me about it!! i need all the help i can get!